I did my first Jivamukti yoga class today (online at MyYogaOnline.com) and I’m not really impressed. Sharon Gannon and David Life, creators of the style have some interesting combinations but I couldn’t get past their robotic affirmations on life and the creepy and nasally way they both say “inhale” and “exhale” throughout the video.

The video is shot in a studio decorated like a concert stage and stars Michael Franti of “Power to the Peaceful” fame both demonstrating the poses and with his music in the background. Just another step towards rock n roll meets certifiable yoga celebrity.

One of my favorite parts was when David has you hold your foot up to your ear in Akama Asana (Shooting Bow pose) and says, “Pick up the phone and call me… hello?” Hello, it’s me, you yoga weirdo, got any of that windowpane left for me?

My second favorite part was when Michael narrates Savasana (Corpse pose) at the end. The electric guitar noodles around softly in the background, while Ladies Man slash Barry White tells you to relax your pelvis. Mmm Hmm right.

Yes, besides a rather important yet conspicuously absent category, I’m saying fuck that book. Now, I know this is very un-yoga-like to be talking all smutty and judgmental but what are you gonna do about it?

I hate Eat Pray Love. I hate Elizabeth Gilbert and her Balinese boyfriend. I hate anybody who has Julia Roberts portray them in a movie. I hate the movie even though I haven’t seen it (and I probably will see it and like it despite myself). I hate all the unapologetic co-op deals and relentless advertising about it everywhere you turn. I hate everyone decreeing it a worldwide sensation. Who else gives a shit but bored-to-death housewives living vicariously?

You know, the threads of my life came unraveled too. I was crying on the bathroom floor for years before that whiny bitch ever had a tinge of depression that she could turn into a money-making machine. I, too, quit my job and traveled around the world to find myself and figure out the meaning of this shitty life. So, where the fuck is my book deal?!

Am I jealous, you ask? You better fucking believe it.

[Elizabeth, if you are reading this...just kidding, girl. You know I love you. Call me! Let's do lunch.]

Ron popped the question on Friday. Friday the 13th. Spooky! He met me downtown after work for dinner and a movie. He told me his friend Joe recommended this Indian restaurant, while I normally prefer to just eat at Chutney, I acquiesced. We walked and walked and I was getting a bit impatient. We turned into a square near 2nd and Folsom, one I knew quite well, well enough to know there was no freakin Indian restaurant in it!

Before I could point this obvious fact out, he turned, opened a maroon colored velvet ring box, and blurted out, “Will my critter marry me?” I was stunned and totally surprised. Although I did pick out the ring a month prior, a 1930’s vintage ring from Lang’s (a wonderful antique store in San Francisco), I nearly forgot about it.

Of course, I made him get down on one knee. That’s just the proper thing to do. Ron is seen here in this lifelike reenactment, where Ron Kutulas is played by Ron Kutulas.

He asked again and I said yes! We kissed like lovebirds. And then hugged with excitement while I glanced over his shoulder at a gym up on the second floor. A guy on a leg press machine beamed a gigantic smile and gave us an enthusiastic thumbs up.

So although the square was gray and empty we shared the moment with a perfect stranger. I’m sure he wondered what type of location this was for such an occasion.

On warmer days, the square is sunny with low seating encircling a fountain, nice for a quick lunch during the work-week. On one such Tuesday, Ron first asked me to go steady. And six years later on the same spot, he asked me to be his critter again, this time for life.

In between we’ve had good times and bad, we’ve loved each other, moved in with each other, broken up and reunited. This past year, we’ve traveled the world together (and somehow didn’t kill each other). So safe to say, we know what we are getting into. He’s my best friend and now he will be my husband!

I just started working yesterday after a fourteen month sabbatical. Wow. It was hella weird. Like time warp meets bizarre clips of office space. I definitely feel refreshed, recharged, and raring to go. Mentally, at least. But I wondered how on earth I’ll keep up with the yoga. I don’t exactly have a great track record when a lot (or anything) is going on.

I’m quite pleased to announce that something quite miraculous happened this morning. I got up at 6 (yes, that is ante meridian for those that know me well, it is a pertinent clarification) and did 45 minutes of yoga before catching golden gate transit into the city for work. Holy shit! How virtuous have I become?! I know, I know, yogi’s and yogini’s all over the country and all over the world accomplish this every single day, but this is me we are talking about. I never get up early for anything.

I’m feeling quite proud of myself. Thought I’d let you all know.

There was also a relevant and super great article on Tiny Buddha this week about waking up every morning on top of the world. I love their example of when the alarm clock goes off and, true to nature, my knee jerk reaction is: “Oh shit, it’s 6am!” Great advice, not only on coping for us night owls, but also on bringing positivity and gratitude into your life from the very first moment each day.

I know how to invoke some gratitude. What if my alarm clock had a sneaking resemblance to an iced donut, and I could snooze by snacking on it. Hmmm?

[This is the second reference to baked goods in the last week. It seems I've got frosty icing on the brain!]

To spice up my home practice, I subscribed to MyYogaOnline.com for $9.95/month. I’m not sure if I’ll keep it, so this isn’t yet a full review.

I’ve only done one class so far, an intermediate level Ashtanga Flow with Nico Luce. He meets two of my three criteria for Hot Yoga Instructor: shirtless and smoldering. But because my laptop speakers are a little shoddy I couldn’t understand a single word of his accent (albeit sexy) that should be cuing the next pose. Sigh…

I am happy to report the streaming worked extremely well and I didn’t even have the best connection (meaning I borrowed, aka stole, my neighbors wifi). If you leave it unsecured, we will come…and eat up all your bandwidth.

Actually, I like to think that those with open wifi are sharing their abundance with those less fortunate (like me), and therefore are unappreciated angels enabling the very heart of the internet. Kudos to all you untechnological souls inadvertently doing a good deed! I couldn’t live without you!

Can you believe that I have no yoga mat?! I’m squatting in a house in Corte Madera, California, that Ron is working on. All my worldly possessions are still in storage. We thought we would be settled by now, but the months keep ticking by. And from the looks of it, it will probably be another 3-4 months from now. Sigh…

It’s times like these that I think of my mat. Cheap, pink mat from Gaiam, that it is. Ground in dirt (from what garden patch, who knows) that can’t be washed out. Clawed by my yoga kitties repeatedly performing down-cat.

I’ve enjoyed my home practice on the bare hardwood floor, using only a towel to brace my knees and shoulders. But it’s also a hassle. And it can break the flow. I should probably invest in a new mat…

The choices now seem endless. I remember when there were only a few obscure places where you could purchase a mat. Now you can get one with your cafe latte at Whole Foods. Times have changed.

Do I get a travel mat to go afar? Do I get one that will never break apart? Do I get one red or blue? Do I get one that biodegrades too?

Oh, I’ll probably procrastinate on this for awhile.

I thought these poses were essentially the same, but they are completely different. This led me to the fact that I’ve been incorrectly doing Up Dog in Sun Salutation C (or the traditional surya namaskar) for years now. Which means I come out of the Eight-Point Bow pose all wrong as well. Hmmm, quite a revelation!

As you can see, the main difference in the poses is the hand placement. In Cobra, the hands are in front of the body and there is a downward push in the pelvis while the hands are pushing upward, producing a stretch in the lower back.

Cobra Pose – Bhujangasana

In Up Dog, the hands are directly under the shoulders and there is a lifting up where the power is in the upper back and shoulders.

Upward Facing Dog Pose – Urdhva Mukha Svanasana

This video also demonstrates the differences well.

I went to the Lululemon store today to look at the all the yoga pants I wasn’t go to buy, and then went and bought a hoodie that I’m so unutterably in love with. So, yes I spent $108 + tax but I make no apologies! It’s well-stitched, soft in all the right places, and has these cool little thumb holes that will keep the sleeve down and the nip out when I’m going to all those Oregonian yoga classes this Fall.

If I’ve learned one thing in life it’s that you should always spoil yourself on things you truly love. Non-attachment be damned. I’m by no means a big consumer. I skimp on things I care little about. I’m the type to smuggle in a soda to the movie theater to avoid being extorted $5 for a fountain drink. I buy things I need and things I really, really love and little else.

It also helps that I don’t have a lot of champagne wishes and caviar dreams (except that I secretly covet this watch, shhh don’t tell anyone) but I don’t truly resonate with very many physical items. So when I see something that sends my heart aflutter for some unknown reason, I don’t question the serendipity and instead whip out my ATM debit card.

The universe revels in coming-togetherness. The finding again of a matched pair (in all things except socks), the mysterious attraction of polarities. You can’t deny this intrinsic force. Some things were just meant to be together: soul mates, peanut butter and jelly, starsky and hutch and now me and my cool new hoodie. We’ve found each other! Hurray!

…and, no it’s not the belly-roll monster.

At some point in this last week, as I’ve posted on other blogs and link exchanges trying desperately to promote my fledgling blog, I’ve reswizzled my tagline into “908 asanas in 908 days”. I mean it does sound catchy, right? Is this the way all new goals somehow morph into ridiculously arrogant challenges? Maybe next I’ll want to rule the world.

Today I’m going to scrutinize the 908 asanas poster and determine exactly how many of the poses I really know. There are actually not 908 totally unique poses. Some are preparatory for final poses, some are variations on the same pose. I’m feeling pretty confident I currently practice about half of the poster, which will go in my practice stats on the right column under “learned”.

I’m not quite sure how I will determine when I’ve mastered a pose. I suppose it’s when the alignment is correct and I can comfortably hold it for at least a minute. I know its (sanskrit and english) name, its contraindications, and its physiology. I’m not going to try to “master” any poses for a long while (perhaps, years?) and focus on simply learning.

So, is this quest even possible? I’m pretty sure there are a few asanas I may never learn, in 908 days or 9008 days. Like this one,…um, yea.

…and this one. Gross.

I’m not exactly lithe and bendy. And 908 days is only 2.5 years. Maybe I should try to eat 908 rainbow sprinkled cupcakes in 908 days instead. Mmmm Om.

One of my favorite Yoga DVD’s of all time is Total Yoga: The Flow Series – Fire. It is a fantastic Intermediate practice and the DVD is only $9.99!

The pacing is fast but not furious, over an hour in length. The beginning is a series of sun salutations to warm you up: three salutation A, three salutation B, and three salutation C. Then you do salutation A between seven standing poses before you go to the floor. You can definitely work up a nice sweat.

Tracey Rich narrates and gives good cues and pose adjustments, in addition to a focus on Ujjayi breathing which I find lacking in a lot of trendy Yoga workouts these days. You hit all the major poses including headstand and shoulderstand and a good dose of savasana at the end. Overall, I give it 5 of 5 stars.

You can also get the entire Total Yoga Flow series box set for a steal at just over $20 which consists of four dvds: Earth, Water, Fire, and Total Yoga Original. Earth is a very gentle beginning yoga introduction. Water picks up the pace, but is still nicely geared for the beginner.

The DVDs feature Tracey Rich and Ganga White of the White Lotus Foundation.